When somebody asks you to do a top ten list of all the places in the world you could visit, you gotta wonder if ten is a large enough number. I mean, if money were no object, and if time were available, where wouldn’t you go? Other than Antarctica, various places in the Amazon (rumor has it J-Lo and a bunch of Anacondas were spotted there once), and downtown Camden, Jersey, obviously. But let’s get on with that list, shall we?
Californ-I-A. I’ve been to L.A. once, but for a very short while. I’d like to really see California, from the top to the bottom, from outer coast to inner coast. Being from a small state like Connecticut, where you can literally drive from one end to the other in about an hour and a half, maybe two hours, it’s just a totally different experience. It’s west coast verses east coast, and its one state spans about seven of our east coasters. San Fran, San D, Santa Barbara…
Australia. Ever since I had the opportunity to go to Australia and didn’t go, I’ve been dying to head out there. Back in high school, there was this opportunity to go to Australia, New Zealand, and Fiji. I wanted to go, but I had to raise five grand to do it. I was lazy and wasn’t able to go. My friend ended up going on the trip, had a blast, and met Chris Rock and Keanu Reeves on the flights. Yeah, definitely got me pissed, and inspired me to head to Europe the following year on a similar trip. One day, Australia, one day. Until then, I’ll work on my Aussie accent, and watch tons of X-men.
England. One of these days, I may get knighted. Okay, let’s be rule, I probably won’t. But assuming this is my dream, then let me dream. While in England, I’ll visit all the cool sites you see in movies and yes, I will encourage all of them to brush and floss.
Texas. I hear they’re kinda like their own little country. They’ve got God. Guns. Rodeos. Accents. More guns. Ranches. Hats. And, um…well, Mexican food? I’ve been meaning to get down there for a while, so one of these days it’ll happen. It might take an entire summer to see the whole state, though. Seriously, no state should be that huge.
Puerto Rico. Maybe my real reason for not being as fluent in Spanish as I would like (I know, after hearing my name pronounced aloud you were unashamedly picturing some kind of Antonio Banderas accent impersonation, but I must confess this isn’t so) is because I haven’t ever actually visited. Beaches. Good food. Yeah, it’d be sweet.
Israel. It’s gotta be amazing to see some of the historic places I’ve read about. To walk the Holy Land or to see the tomb of Christ or be where David kicked Goliath’s butt. Freakin awesome. I’ve been to Rome, saw the Vatican, figured it might be a good idea to see where it all began.
Mall of America. I know, sounds pretty lame, but c’mon…you gotta see it at least once.
Tokyo. I saw Contagion a few weeks ago, and it gave the population of Tokyo, and I was awestruck with how many people actually live there. Seriously, look it up. It’s nuts to think that in NYC, there about eight or nine million people, but in Tokyo, the number doubles and then keeps going. Not sure how long I’d last there…I mean, I still haven’t successfully learned karate or how to drift, but fingers crossed, maybe I’ll manage a visit.
Moscow. I met this kid once who loved it there. His parents were missionaries, and he was living out in L.A. and he thought it was a cool place to live. I can’t remember if he spoke fluent Russian or not, but I imagine he sounded like some villain from the Bond flicks when/ if he did. Either way, there’s this new movie coming out called The Darkest Hour, and it kinda got me thinking, you know? Sure, I don’t have a clue how to speak Russian, but I should so see this place before I check out.
Mars. For real, I gotta know…life, or no life? I figure, sometime before I’m ready to croak, some genius is gonna concoct a way to visit the red planet, and when they do, first space ship ticket’s getting purchased by…well, most likely Bill Gates, but I’m definitely number two.
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